Rewriting the Role I Didn’t Know I Was Playing

During my psychotherapy training, I was educated that a life script is an unconscious plan for how we believe our life will unfold — shaped early in childhood by the messages we absorb, the roles we take on, and the meanings we make. It’s not a literal plan, but a psychological blueprint. The story we tell ourselves about who we are, what’s expected of us, and what’s possible.

Naively, to begin with, I didn’t think I had a script. I thought I had a “strong personality.” I was just the capable one. The one who steps up. The one who knows what to do when everyone else is flailing.

But somewhere between the supervision feedback and the slow emotional unpacking that training as a psychotherapist requires, I started seeing myself more clearly.

The “strong” part of me? Not just a trait. It’s how I learned to be valuable.
The “I can do this” part? Possibly the reason I never learnt how to ask for help.
The calm exterior? A very sophisticated form of hiding.

It’s unsettling, realising that so much of what I thought was me might actually be strategy - protective, adaptive, unconscious strategy.

But there’s freedom in naming it. Because once you know your script, you’re not as locked in. You can revise a line, take a breath before the next scene. You can choose.

Like everyone, I’m still scripted. But more aware and also starting to edit.